Unprepared

I don't think anything can prepare you for the day you meet your future child's birth parents. Nervous, excited, anxious, stressed, elated, definitely a rare combination of emotions.I didn't want to go to someone's home (especially someone this important) empty handed, so after much thought I went with food! Everyone likes cookies right? Cookies and muffins it was. The girls and I had fun baking the day before and preparing a pretty basket for the family. The day of, we left extra early because we didn't want to be late for such an important meeting. When we got close we texted the person from our agency who was also meeting us there. She texted she was there and to go ahead and come. As we pulled in the driveway I steadied myself and forced my legs to move forward towards the door, taking a few deep breaths.The worker knocked on the door and in a matter of seconds we were greeted with smiles and warmth and invited to sit down. Everyone agreed we were all nervous! We talked and laughed and really enjoyed the meeting. Ok, and to be honest I kept having to remind myself not to look at the belly. Sounds funny,but I kept reminding myself to look at her face not her tummy!It was a BIG baby bump, I knew right then this would probably be a big baby! We answered questions honestly and were told they would be sure to let the agency know when she went into labor so we could be there at the hospital. It was so strange knowing my son/daughter was in the same room with me and hearing my voice for the first time. It was all surreal but I think we all left feeling good. We didn't want to get our hopes up 100% but we really felt a connection to this family and that God had brought us together.This was the beginning of our journey with A's birthfamily who we have much love and respect for.

Our Maybe Baby (We got THE call!)

I wrote this a few weeks before Ava was born and never posted.... I want to remember this, these moments. These heart racing, having a hard time remembering to breathe moments.These life altering, rock your world moments. These can't eat, can't sleep moments. Yesterday we got the call, THE call. The one that let us know we were going to be parents again. The one we have been waiting on for so long. Every time this year a number shows up that I don't recognize I get a rush of emotion, wondering if it could be THE call and every time, I feel let down when it's just the pharmacy or the newspaper or some other silly call. I want to yell, "do you know what you are doing to me?!" Yesterday, at 4:30 a number I didnt know popped up on my cell phone. I answered it and it was our social worker. The funny thing is we had just met hours earlier. It had been a year of waiting so we thought it was time to see each other again.I also met a new member of the team at the adoption agency. I was told the team member had a meeting to run to and so we decided to wrap it up. Before I left the team member asked if she could take a few pictures of my girls and I before we left. I thought it was odd but thought maybe she felt our profile book was getting outdated after a year and wanted to add a few pictures. Back to the call....The social worker told me she enjoyed seeing us again and wanted to thank us for stopping by. My heart kind of sunk thinking she was only calling to say thanks for coming and not about a baby. I told her it was good seeing her too and I hoped we would see each other before to long. She said, "it won't be long before I see you again. I will see you November 2nd." "What's going on November 2nd?", I asked. She said,"that is when the baby you are matched with is due." I almost passed out! My heart was racing and I was desperately looking for a pen and paper to write things down. She went on to tell me that the meeting the team member went to earlier was with an expectant mother and that she had chosen us to parent her child. What!!!! She went on to give us the details of the situation and everything seems like a go. We will meet the expectant mom in a week and then a week after that she is due!

Overdue

We have been a "waiting family" for a bit over 9 months, and I am starting to feel overdue.I think most women at 9 months are ready for their baby to come. I may not have a huge belly or swelling feet, but the longing to hold that baby in my arms is the same. My girls came early, 7 weeks early. I called those seven weeks my bonus weeks. It's become clear to me we are not getting any bonus weeks this go around. I often wonder why we couldn't be that family who gets the match a few weeks after they start waiting or even a few months after waiting. Yet here we are, over nine months later, a year and a half after the starting the process.Overdue. Now in the adoption world 9 months is not really overdue...many wait much, much longer. The fact that we may have to double or triple the 9 month wait is tough. I know many people have asked where we are in the process and what is happening. The honest truth is absolutely nothing. We know that is a frustrating answer. We too are frustrated, the girls are frustrated. They pray every night for their baby. They ask me why the baby hasn't come yet if they have prayed. I tell them our baby has to be just the right one. That we dont want just any baby, we want the one God has prepared for our family. The funny thing is I feel the same way they do. I know mentally the right answers but emotionally it is hard to believe. So that is where I am right now in this process... Overdue. No baby, not today. Until then I will cling to the two beautiful "babies" I do have and to hope.I will choose to believe in God's goodness even when it hurts, even when I feel over due. To my sweet future baby. I haven't given up, my arms are waiting for you! A pic of my sweet girls who pray every night for their baby....

Families Outreach Grant

The third grant that we received was through Families Outreach.After applying for this grant we received a card in the mail, letting us know they were praying for our family. A few months later we received a letter in the mail and a check for $750.00 to use towards our adoption expenses. We feel so blessed that they chose our family to support both through prayer and finances! Thank you Families Outreach!

Show Hope Grant!

The second grant we received was from Show Hope! The application is a pretty intense and lengthy process, but made easier by the fact that everything could be done electronically.It took us awhile to fill it out and get it turned in. We ended up getting it done only a day before the deadline. A month or so later we received a letter letting us know they were praying for us. They also offered us educational resources for free, which we of course accepted. The more education the better! We were so impressed at how much Show Hope cared for their applicants. On March 16, we got a small envelope in the mail letting us know we had been chosen for a $5,000.00 grant! That week we had received a few letters from other grants we had applied for that did not have funding for our family. I was feeling very discouraged and had just assumed the letter would be a no.I called E at work and we were both in shock. A huge weight was lifted off our shoulders that day. Thank you Show Hope!

JSC Foundation Grant!

So back in December/January we began the process of applying for several adoption grants. We asked for your prayers, that God would move mountains to provide for our our little one. We are so excited share with you how God has been working over the last few months. We ended up receiving a total of 3 grants!I will be writing a separate post about each grant in case some readers are looking for information on adoption grants as they go through the same process. The very first grant we received was through the JSC Foundation. For those of you researching adoption grants, JSC was amazing! One thing we found neat about JSC was their requirement to meet with your pastor. This ended up being such a great part of the process. We really enjoyed meeting with our Pastor and his wife and sharing with them about our adoption. They prayed for us before we left and we really felt blessed by our time together. We felt every step of the application process with JSC was efficient and went very smoothly. We submitted our application by the January 15th deadline, and on February 11th we received an e-mail from the JSC Foundation awarding us a generous grant (they prefer the amount not be shared publicly and we will respect their wishes.) We honestly could not believe it! We were so excited and so humbled to be chosen. We can not even imagine how much work, time, and sacrificial giving went into JSC being able to offer our family such a gift. Not only did we receive a grant but soon after we received a book and workbook on adoption called, "The Connected Child" in the mail from them. We feel loved, cared for and prayed for by this foundation. What a gift from God! Thank you JSC Foundation.

Waiting

I saw a quote on Facebook the other day so I thought I would share,

"It's not that I love waiting,
It's that I love the person I am waiting for."

It resonated with with me.We are officially in the waiting period for our adoption. We have only officially been a"waiting family" for a few months, but of course it seems much longer as the process to adopt began about 9 months ago, not to mention the 3 years before that spent thinking, praying and hoping for another child. Waiting is definitely not easy, especially when there is not a defined timeline as to how long this wait will be. It is a hard balance to find, on the one hand looking forward to the day when we can hold our little one and welcome him/her into our family and then on the other hand to be present in the here and now and just enjoy the season of life we are in. Some of our friends are also adopting and it was so interesting to read her blog and see some of the same feelings I have been having reflected in her words. I guess we are in good company with others who are going through a similar process! I am putting a link to her post here. Please take the time to read it, it is well worth your time (Lisa's post on waiting)!

Even though we have been "waiting" we have been extremely busy. The girls always keep us on our toes and homeschooling takes up the majority of my time. We have also been working at a steady pace on grant writing and adoption training for our agency. We are so thankful for organizations that recognize that the costs of adoption often prevent families who would otherwise love to adopt from doing so. There are so many deserving families applying for these grants and unfortunately there are just not enough funds for most families to receive a grant. Would you pray with us as we apply for these grants that God would move mountains? That he would provide for this adoption in only the way that he can?

Would you also pray with us for our sweet little one as well as his or her birth parents? As you pray for the birth mother, please pray not only for her physical health but also her emotional, and spiritual health. These women are not "abandoning" their children. They are choosing life, and trying to make the best choice for their child under a variety of potentially challenging circumstances.

A few pics of the two sweeties who keep us so busy....