Unprepared

I don't think anything can prepare you for the day you meet your future child's birth parents. Nervous, excited, anxious, stressed, elated, definitely a rare combination of emotions.I didn't want to go to someone's home (especially someone this important) empty handed, so after much thought I went with food! Everyone likes cookies right? Cookies and muffins it was. The girls and I had fun baking the day before and preparing a pretty basket for the family. The day of, we left extra early because we didn't want to be late for such an important meeting. When we got close we texted the person from our agency who was also meeting us there. She texted she was there and to go ahead and come. As we pulled in the driveway I steadied myself and forced my legs to move forward towards the door, taking a few deep breaths.The worker knocked on the door and in a matter of seconds we were greeted with smiles and warmth and invited to sit down. Everyone agreed we were all nervous! We talked and laughed and really enjoyed the meeting. Ok, and to be honest I kept having to remind myself not to look at the belly. Sounds funny,but I kept reminding myself to look at her face not her tummy!It was a BIG baby bump, I knew right then this would probably be a big baby! We answered questions honestly and were told they would be sure to let the agency know when she went into labor so we could be there at the hospital. It was so strange knowing my son/daughter was in the same room with me and hearing my voice for the first time. It was all surreal but I think we all left feeling good. We didn't want to get our hopes up 100% but we really felt a connection to this family and that God had brought us together.This was the beginning of our journey with A's birthfamily who we have much love and respect for.

Our Maybe Baby (We got THE call!)

I wrote this a few weeks before Ava was born and never posted.... I want to remember this, these moments. These heart racing, having a hard time remembering to breathe moments.These life altering, rock your world moments. These can't eat, can't sleep moments. Yesterday we got the call, THE call. The one that let us know we were going to be parents again. The one we have been waiting on for so long. Every time this year a number shows up that I don't recognize I get a rush of emotion, wondering if it could be THE call and every time, I feel let down when it's just the pharmacy or the newspaper or some other silly call. I want to yell, "do you know what you are doing to me?!" Yesterday, at 4:30 a number I didnt know popped up on my cell phone. I answered it and it was our social worker. The funny thing is we had just met hours earlier. It had been a year of waiting so we thought it was time to see each other again.I also met a new member of the team at the adoption agency. I was told the team member had a meeting to run to and so we decided to wrap it up. Before I left the team member asked if she could take a few pictures of my girls and I before we left. I thought it was odd but thought maybe she felt our profile book was getting outdated after a year and wanted to add a few pictures. Back to the call....The social worker told me she enjoyed seeing us again and wanted to thank us for stopping by. My heart kind of sunk thinking she was only calling to say thanks for coming and not about a baby. I told her it was good seeing her too and I hoped we would see each other before to long. She said, "it won't be long before I see you again. I will see you November 2nd." "What's going on November 2nd?", I asked. She said,"that is when the baby you are matched with is due." I almost passed out! My heart was racing and I was desperately looking for a pen and paper to write things down. She went on to tell me that the meeting the team member went to earlier was with an expectant mother and that she had chosen us to parent her child. What!!!! She went on to give us the details of the situation and everything seems like a go. We will meet the expectant mom in a week and then a week after that she is due!